Good-Bye 2008

Everyone will be writing in their 09 Resolutions around this time of the year.
So here's mine. . . .

I shall spare you details on the 08 reflections since looking back isnt the direction where I wanna head, I shall write about something forward, something happIER! :)

note: As abstract as it gets, happiness isnt just a word to be understood by reading off from a dictionary, but rather it's self-defined i.e. Only-your-own-definition-that-matters.

From the experiences Ive gone thus far, I realize that no one (esp, a paranoia like me!) can ever be happy unless I can learn to feel at peace with who I am and arent doubting myself. From the commited relationship jitters and anxieties to the episodes of being the nervous-wreck that I am(hopefully it will be a "I was" soon) , I feel that I am always weighed down in my life because of my own words, thoughts and feelings. Identifying my strengths and flaws is one thing, accepting it is another.

It came to a point where I have now learned that as of this moment,

I try to remind myself that if I engage in perfectionism, I am abusing myself.

Resolution no. 1

Embrace myself, flaws and all. Because Paranoia + Perfectionism leads to self-abuse and self-destruction( i think the latter is a little too extreme!)

Wake up Happy. Become a Pleasure Seeker. If not, is it worth the worry?

In detail..that would mean

-Making time to enjoy myself

-learning to relax when the going gets tough and challenging

-ignoring what other people think. (and of course, the devil in me!)

-accepting myself-and others-

-whine will get me to no where and no good! (repeat 848238183982989 times!)

Resolution no. 2:

Do myself a favour: Make an effort to look, eat,talk and be good so that I can feel good!

I need to bring up my immunity level since it has been heading down South lately. I must say, I have been taking my health for granted, being a full-fledge carnivore and the that-is-so-liyana saying of " Vegetables are good for you and bad for my tastebuds!" is no longer a Ha-Ha-Ha Matter indeed! I used to have this childish (now this is a Haha matter!) idea that since I NEED NOT take my BCG immunization in Primary 6 means that I have an immunity of a fully-loaded armed battalion! Thus, falling ill more than five times in 2008, after like 9 years, this notion no longer stands( it never did actually!) Hahaha!

So, more fruits and vegetables on my plate, please!

I'm gonna take the effort to dress up especially when im goin to school for just an hour of lesson!! Trust me, girls, i mean ladies, my idea of dressing up does not mean to doll up and trot in pretty painful heels, but actually to dress not like im going to head downstairs for a bowl of tau huey!

I guess Ive been a lil bless to have left my acne/zits/pimple in my teens but dat doesnt mean i should neglect my skin/facial care! Ive been pretty much one lazy bum when it comes to daily facial wash n all that as i did not want to be associated as a vain pot in my teens.. but i guess there is a great divide( just like the rich and poor!) between basic skin care and overly-vain. I havent been acting my age and dressing my age would kinda help especially when my job in a few years to come is very impressionable.

Resolution no. 3:

Get physical at least 3 times a week to make up for the twice a week of indulgence!

Sports is also part of my Things to Do List now. I remember having the 1377189081 excuses not to run back in college.. But now, I am such a gym rat( thanks to my great gym buddy Stella!) that running 2.4 is my kick start warm up! ( i know this aint a big thing.. but it is to me! haha) Please.. just because i wrote that, please do not expect to see a well-toned and slim me~! I still got a loooong way to go! I just want to be fit and have fun at the same time.Somehow, after each run, I feel really good, must be the endorphins i suppose or maybe the delusional mirror... hahaha..

Be it gym-ing or swimming, oh ya.. net4all will be every friday night(which means i just need to plan 2 other activites!) or even roller-blading! Maybe joing the Shape 09 run is a start..:)

I shall try to limit my sweet tooth cravings and junk food carbs reloads to twice a week.. yeah.. twice.. sounds realistic. haha..

Resolution no 4:

Be wiser by Saving smart & Shopping smart!

I never really had proper savings and this year I will be pay-less by mid-year and that certainly is alarming. I cant imagine asking my parents for money at the age of 21! Boo Hoo!! If shame has a photo definition, it will reflect a scenario of me asking my mum for pocket money!! arrgghhh!!

Please dont get me wrong, it is just that allowance/pocket money just ceased in my vocabulary since I turned 17 where i starting doing some tuition job to support myself.

Thus, each time I think of purchasing something I have to remind myself;

"Is this a want or a need?"

though the quirky saying, "When in doubt, buy it!" sounds so much better!

P.s: It doenst help if you enjoy watching The Fabulous Life on Mtv

Another thing in regards to money, would be setting aside some money each month to be used for upgrading myself(for my NIE/teacher friends reading this, this would mean my personal LDS!)

For example, by the time Im done with my school semester in late april, i wanna take up Mandarin classes. Why mandarin?

Well.. firstly, DUH..

secondly, I dont kinda like the fact that I struggle to pronounce Chinese names. I just feel that it is kinda rude to pronounce someone's name far from how it is ought to sound cuz it may change or humiliate the person's name. I have students who ended up laughing or getting annoyed each time i get their names or their classmate's name wrongly. And being trilingual can be pretty impressionable on this kids since that they would not dare to give a nasty comment in their mother tongue(cuz who knows Miss Liyana speaks Tamil too!)

I think when i learn a language, I become a child all over again, and in learning to talk, as i emulate and imitate the native's speeches all around me!

Enough Said~! Im definitely going to take up Hua Yi!

and that will make me start my "Liyana personal development fund" :)

Resolution no. 5

Family, Love & Friendships. Everything happens for a reason.

I have never gotten a father-daughter bonding very much every since my brother came along but somehow, now that i have a man in my life, i tend to relate him back to my dad. We had a couple of misunderstanding this 08, which sums to alot since it used to be the authoratative dad vs silent and submissive daughter all along.

Although I may not always agree with your opinions and your thinking, Im glad that you still want me to see the world the way you do. Thanks, Ayah.

Never in my wildest dream that I'd ever imagine meeting someone like him, not even close and not even once. Well, I owe it all to this photo above. :)

Dont be fooled by the zestful smile carved on my face! I remember throwing up buckets hours before that. It was my India trip last December, when almost half the team were heading back to Sg for Christmas, a few of us wanted to spend a white christmas in Nothern India but I was already down, i didnt even visit the Pink City, Jaipur because I was in my worst state of health ever~! I had the choice to follow the others back but something tells me to hold on and persist. I have come this far and I had this voice in my heart/head telling me to continue with my extended backpacking trip, and so I did. And there I was having this photo taken in Shimla... The photo looks like a postcard didnt it? Little did i know, that this was my road to....

It was technically love at first sight.. but it was for the snow-cap mountains not Me!

And with that , we talked, we met and happily ever after.

*smitten*

Thank you for coming into my life and being yourself, cuz that's why I always have a reason to fall in love over and over again..